| bored,broke. |
[
01
June
2005 @ 08:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
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teevee-- a&e |
] |
Here's a funny.
An old man, Mr. Osbourn, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong. "Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr Osbourn, "My private part died today, and I am very sad. "Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Osbourn, please accept my condolences." The following day, Mr. Osbourn was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Osbourn," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas." "But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Osbourn, "I told you yesterday that my private part died." "Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" asked Nurse Tracy. "Well," he replied. "Todays the viewing."
Yesterday I got my new tablet laptop. It so rules.
|
|
| Living in Sin... |
[
24
May
2005 @ 09:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv: discovery channel |
] |
Ah. Looks like Juan and I are not moving in together.. Well at least not for now. If we did, according to his mother we'd be "living in sin". Yes, she really used those exact words. I guess I can understand how strong her convictions are against unmarried couples living together. But doesn't God and only God have the right to judge us? I can't stand having a person cast aspersions on my character and my relationship, especially when they obviously are not perfect and have committed the same "sin" when they were my age.
His mother says we shouldn't be living together unless we are married by the Catholic church. I really don't see how living together is committing a sin. I mean, there is love, trust, and happiness in our relationship. We have every intention to get married in church, but right now, we can't afford to have a wedding. If she wants to pay for the whole shebang, then okay, we'll get married before we move in. If not, she'll just have to deal with her 23-year old son leaving her safety net to live with his girlfriend (my coworkers think that maybe she's having issues of "losing" her son).
Honestly, I have always felt uneasy around Juan's mom. She is really a nice person, but I have always felt some kind of power struggle-- like she'll show me how she can tell Juan to do something, and he'll do it. Hey, I understand that that's her oldest son and nothing will ever change that, but he is 23 going on 24-years old and he should be able to decide how he wants to live, when he is to be married, and by who he is to be married by (either the court or church). Juan and I were actually planning to get married in court first, and then after I graduate from UOG, we'd get married in church; but I think his mom would have a major hissy-fit if we did that or if she even found out our plan.
Right now, I feel really embarrassed about the whole situation. I feel embarrassed because I think this will forever ban me from his family... maybe they think I'm the one coercing him to commit such a sinful act. On one hand, I have my friends telling me that maybe she doesn't like me or maybe she doesn't want to lose her son... On the other hand, I think she just has very strong religious convictions... Yes, they are dated and they don't seem to apply to Juan's brother (he's living with his girlfriend... unmarried).
Ultimately, the decision is up to Juan and I to decide. She really needs to realize and accept that.
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|
| Movin' on up... |
[
22
May
2005 @ 10:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
actually, T.V.--Gray's Anatomy... did i spell that right? |
] |
Gah. I cannot stand not being able to read people! I just told my mom a few hours ago that I'm moving in with my boyfriend/fiancee. Of course her reaction was nonchalant. I really feared her being mad at me, but oddly, she wasn't... or at least she didn't seem to be. Man people, this is a big friggin' step for me. It's like I'm actually going to be on my own. I'll be hella poor, but what's new, right? Ha. More moving details later.
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|
| STAR WARS CRAZY. |
[
20
May
2005 @ 08:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
actually a movie... Cinderella 2... babysitting youngins |
] |
Thank you George Lucas for not making episode iii a total cocktease/blue-ball. Geeks everywhere have been waiting for this epic release, and from what I experienced the movie was not a let-down. But I just have to comment that Anakin Skywalker is a total impatient sally. Sadly, that's basically what led to his demise as a Jedi... (stops & realizes)... God, I've been hanging with my geeky b/f way too much. Now that I'm finished with this semester, I have nothing more to analyze and think about.
Oh yeah, the BSW (Bachelor of Social Work) degree celebration was alright. Food sucked, but the company was good.
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|
| luuuke, luuuke, i am your faaathuur. |
[
19
May
2005 @ 09:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Run DMC - Tricky |
] |
Tomorrow is the BSW Program's end of the year celebration. I'm going, but I really don't know anyone too well. That's why I'm bringing the old man with me. He'll keep me company. Plus, he wants to go watch the finale of STAR WARS tomorrow. I also have to babysit tomorrow. HIS siblings. Funny thing, his mom asked him to ask me to watch the kiddies. She's finally learning whose the fuckin' BOSS. Just kidding. Not. Another funny thing, she's paying us. This is definitely a first. I didn't want to take the money, but Juan and I are fucking broke. I told him to tell her that I don't want to accept the money. But Juan probably told her he needs it. God, money rules the world, huh. Anyway, school's over again. Summer is practically the only time I post anything. Ironic, because 1) I do nothing remotely interesting enough to write about it, and 2) No one reads or wants to read about what is going on in my life. Sore loser.
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| it's the end of the world as we know it. |
[
26
October
2004 @ 10:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
r.e.m. |
] |
i made a couple of really gay 80's music cds... they've fulfilled that void in my life... bah... speaking of life & death, i sometimes wish i could just die. literally... yes, that is a very depressing statement. oh fuck you, people who have insight into the grand scheme of life! god, sometimes i just really feel like there really is NO FUCKING PURPOSE for trying to reach and obtain a level of success which doesn't count in the end anyway... i think i need to talk to a therapist or something. all this bullshit inside me is too fucking much. it's already taken its toll on my boyfriend. i don't think he can handle helping me out anymore. i really feel bad that i even expected him to deal with all my emotional crap. going to mass on sundays has sorta helped me. i still don't agree with most of the ideals that the priest projects, but i do feel really good after communion when i sincerely pray for various people and the abilities to be patient and understanding... was i supposed to keep that to myself? idk. anyway, i hate the way i'm feeling right now. i'm going to go and try to sleep my problems away. if i'm lucky, i won't wake up.
outs biotches.
|
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| skin deep. |
[
15
October
2004 @ 12:08am] |
the world has so many problems, and most of us are not aware of the problems that exist within our surroundings. ignorance truly is bliss. once you become aware, you can almost never turn back and act as if everything is okay.
on a lighter note, it's the weekend. fuck school!
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|
| barf-o-rama. |
[
21
September
2004 @ 10:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
i spent most of monday night barfing.
i was food poisoned by my lunch.
i probably only took two bites, had to serve customers...
then all of the sudden my stomach goes kaput! on me.
i didn't ralf at work though. i think if i did,
i wouldn't have been as bad as i was when i got home.
well when i did get home, i kept on throwing up. juan
was really sweet though because he took care of me.
even though i barfed the soup he made me, he still
managed to stick out my sickness. i bet you i had
horrible barf breath. monday night was a daze. and
i'm still confused.
|
|
| i killed big bird. |
[
11
September
2004 @ 08:15am] |
i think it was a couple of monday's ago... i killed a bird on my way to work. you know, the kind of birds that fly that aren't usually on guam... well i killed one... actually, he commited suicide on my windshield.
i hate working on saturdays. on a positive note, i still get sundays off. and ohhhhh yeahhhhh. i think i'm going to watch, RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE tomorrow. i lovvvve zombie flicks.
hey... kris is on livejournal again. neato. i think his username is "inches away".... add him. he's a good friend.
|
|
| yeah, yeah. i'm old... and that's ok. |
[
21
August
2004 @ 09:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
i really need to stop waking up so early. i guess it's true about old people and the fact that they do not need a lot of sleep. i've been up for a few hours, and it feels like i'm in the middle of a work day. anyway, i was right about what my bf got me for my birthday. of course, i went to great, sneaky-lengths to find out what it was the instant he started torturing me with clues... but i honestly was still surprised when i got to open a huge box filled with those white popcorn packaging stuff... to find that i got an... ibm thinkpad! yay! and i'm using it right now. yes, i am spoiled by the ol' bf. JUAN rules!
i guess in a couple of hours i will be dining either at lonestar or tony roma's with my family and bf. after that, i have no idea.
i started school on thursday, and it was tiring to be in a classroom again. gah... sometimes i just want a 9-5. my chamorro ii class seems freakin' hard! there are a bunch of projects that all have to be in chamorro and presented orally in chamorro... my other three classes seem alright though. too bad i scheduled all of them in one day, eh? hopefully i will not have a mental breakdown this semester... but my chances of having one are high...
|
|
| anxiety dreams. |
[
14
August
2004 @ 07:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
awake |
] |
i think it's only 7am right now on a saturday morning. i can't go back to sleep. i've just woken up from a really trippy anxiety dream. i think i've been suppressing a lot of my worries lately, and that's why i have just had one of those weird fuckin' dreams... sex with hal sparks, hanging out with two old coworker's of mine... who thought i was square, me calling my boyfriend and his sister being really nice to me... gah... i guess you had to be there. that sex thing was really weird, but oddly if felt real.
|
|
| wet hot summer. |
[
25
July
2004 @ 11:42am] |
|
yesterday was one friggin' hot day @ the beach. juan and i followed my mom to her high school reunion family picnic. it was pretty boring, but i'm glad my mom went. i spent most of the day squinting from the evil sun's rays. juan of course was sweating like a straight guy in a gay bar. we play fought a lot yesterday. i got a few good punches in... on an upsetting note, my mom's classmates thought i was 16 years old. gah! and just this friday juan was teasing me about being carded... aah...
|
|
| moofies |
[
13
July
2004 @ 11:01pm] |
i'm told i talk a lot when i am into a movie.
this annoys my bf, but he laughs about it supportively.
work was really slow today. my boss is making me nervous by being anal about things he did not mind before. oh well, i guess it's my time to be put into the meat grinder.
on the flip side...
i hope to get the freaks and geeks dvd set. i rented it a couple of weeks ago. i was reminded of how good of a show it was. too bad it did not last long. turns out juan likes f&g too! i bought an army-green jacket b/c of linda cardenelli's (sp) character's jacket. loser, eh?
|
|
| this is nuckin' futs! |
[
04
July
2004 @ 10:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
helped juan babysit his little siblings today. cute they are. i spent most of the weekend @ my house bumming--> rented the entire series of FREAKS & GEEKS and sat on my ass all weekend. i must buy that series + a lot of other dvd's including... sixteen candles, heavyweights, valley girls, my stepmom is an alien, and more i cannot think of right now. now all i need is money, right?! anyway, went to the doctor on saturday. everything is a-okay for now. also played SHREK 2 on my PS2--> the game is really fun. tomorrow some people do not have to work because of the "federal" holiday. of course i have to work... oh well, i am getting paid, right? well i am a boring person. so i'm outta here.
|
|
| GLAAD. |
[
28
June
2004 @ 10:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
so freakin' glad that the "tropical storm" did not form into a typhoon when it was closest to guam. the weather is still bad though, and i can't stop thinking i'm going to get electrocuted by using my computer while it the sky is still peeing...
time to brag, fuckers!
went to k-mart with the juan tonight. bought 4 dvds---- (1) spaceballs, (2) national lampoon's vacation, (3) houseguest, (4) overnight delivery. i know some of you probably don't give a rat's ass about these movies, but to me they're treasure.
so my boss doesn't hate me nor wants to fire me. he said that guy was a dick. haha... so i guess dicks are bad to my boss? yes, no? idk. i just think it's cool that my boss was sympathetic to that little penis scolding me. haven't seen that fat fucker around. hope he drowned in the tumon flash flood. but then again his stomach and double chin probably worked as little floaties... u know, like the old skool orange one's that kids wore around their arms... eh, nevermind.
updated my peoplefromguam.com page. juan wanted to put our profiles together... at first i thought that was sweet, but now i think it's because he just doesn't want to hear me telling him he should fix his page. lazy ass... but love him still.
|
|
| fucking fat japanese guy. |
[
27
June
2004 @ 08:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
exhausted |
] |
i argued with a customer on friday. i was so fucking pissed off that i started tearing. i hate that! anyway, this fat japanese guy orders "two stewberry cups!" so i'm down in the freezer scooping, when i come back up and face him, he yells, "did you hear me?!" i say i couldn't hear him, but then i assured him i heard him "now". then he says, "then why didn't you say, yes?! ...that you heard me?!" so now i realize that he's pissed at his penis size and wants to take it out on me. so i explain to him that i didn't hear him the first time because it is very loud behind the counter (b/c of all the freezers and refigerators). then he continues to yell at me that "i'm (he) the customer!!!" so i start freaking out because he continues to repeat that shit and he accuses me of "just not listening". so here i am trying to calm myself down. i tell him his total, hoping to send him on his small-penis way. however, small fat japanese penis decides he is not done harrassing me. so i'm looking down just hoping the fat fucker will give me his money and leave. while i'm trying to avoid further confrontation he continues to scold me. so finally i blow up and yell, "you don't have to talk to me like that, sir. you have no right to yell at me. i don't have to put up with your crap! so i'm going to go get my asst. manager, and you can talk to him!" so i go get my assistant manager. then that fat fuck tells my asst. manager that "she's (i) no good. all she does is scoop ice-cream. no smile! we ask her to get us chocolate. she no want to!" so i responded, "sir you're lying. i got you what you wanted. you order 2 strawberries in cups. that's what you ordered, that's what i got you. when i was down in the freezer, you asked for coffee but i didn't hear you at that time. i'm sorry i didn't hear you." so then my asst. manager is trying to calm him down and fix the problem, but the fat fucker starts yelling again, "but i'm customer! i'm customer!" and my asst. manager says to him, "but that doesn't give you the right to yell at her." so the fat fuck and his fellow fat fuck yell that they don't want anything anymore... and i yell back, "fuck this shit! i don't have to take this kind of crap! i fucking quit!!!"
--------------------------------
well i didn't quit. i went to the back office and calmed down. i cried my frustrations out. called juan. told him i hate that fucking job. i'm not going to let assholes treat me like shit. he really didn't know what was going on because of all the crying, sniffles, and anger. but he came by a little after that on his lunch break to see if i was ok. i really appreciated him doing that for me.
--------------------------------
the rest of the day was alright. i got a few more rude customers. but i maintained my fake ass niceness. god, i need another job!
|
|
| i'm okay, you're okay, we're okay. |
[
14
June
2004 @ 09:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mad caddies... quality softcore |
] |
after a lot of frustration, alone time, and tears, juan and i are okay now. the past few days have been really nice... no arguing... little disagreements. the talk with my coworker, aldeen, and my friends, debbs and erika, really helped me figure things out. last friday was hell. i was on the edge... full of thoughts of inflicting pain on myself. idk what the hell is my problem sometimes. so full of insecurities and negativity. but i'm okay now. i just want this good feeling to last.
on a lighter note, juan bought me Shrek coloring books, crayons, color pencils, and markers. i splurged on a Buffy game for my PS2. man i wish i didn't suck so bad! juan and i are going to buy a gamecube (which will stay at my house!!!) so we can play luigi's mansion, wario world, and the resident evil games. can't wait to get my refund from oldnavy!
i think i'll check my friends out this weekend. wonder what they're up to...
|
|
| boysandgirls. |
[
11
June
2004 @ 10:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the weakerthans (thankscharles!) |
] |
sometimes relationships that go awry feel like they just should be dead.
but when you love a person so much that it actually hurts to think about
your life without them, it is difficult to actually let them go.
it is very difficult when the other person will not let you leave them.
it is even more difficult when the other person tells you they love you so much.
it is extremely difficult when you ask the person what they really want and they answer, "just to be with you".
relationships are fucking hard! and when love is involved, it is even more difficult. however, the good and happy times in a relationship is what makes all the difficulty worthwhile... however, those good and happy times should be more recurrent than those difficult times.
right?
|
|
| aww! |
[
09
June
2004 @ 09:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
elliot smith |
] |
PeopleFromGuam.Com is a really neato site! My cousin, Noel, really made me feel good by leaving a really nice message on my page. I'm suprised one of my cousins thinks I'm a good kid. I would have never thought it though. I've always felt like an outsider amongst my cousins... No, boys didn't chase me like my female cousins my age. No, I was never into showing everyone that I could dance and sing better than anyone else. And yeah, I've always been interested in things that aren't in the realm of pop-culture. When I think about my place amongst my cousins, I realize that it is a lot like high school. There is always a clique that not everyone can get into. And a lot of times, the clique will make you feel like you'll never belong. Although this sort of segregation hurts, especially from family, I've just had to acknowledge it, accept it, and get over it. Sometimes people just don't understand you or like you... It's not that they hate you, although some may... It's more like they just can't relate to your type of personality.
my family says that juan and i need time to ourselves. trust me, i know what "alone time" is like. i've experienced several years of it before juan.
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